Loss of Trust and Oral Sex

"It doesn't mean anything," she said, referring to a fling while I was away. She looks at me tenderly. "Are you okay about this? It doesn't mean anything, you know."

She's right. A roll in the hay, a sport and a pastime, it doesn't mean anything.

"I had to tell you," she says. "I couldn't just not tell you."

I examine her face, the mysterious brown eyes with curving lashes and black brows, the playful smile, the elegant sensual mouth ... that mouth! I realize with a shock, that henceforth forever I will be driven to see as one that has sucked another man's cock! And is unchanged! Yet is totally changed! I'm going mad! That exquisite mouth on which my lips linger at night, lovingly, breathing in her breath as it comes from deep inside her, that mouth! unchanged yet gone forever; and I realize also, with a deep and mournful wonderment, that should I undress her and open her legs and examine her most intimate and hidden places, i would ... however bright the illumination, however diligent the search ... find no trace of the use to which they have been put. She is unchanged, the damage is all within me.

~~~Allen Wheelis, The Way We Are~~~